When brothers disagree, it is only wise that one stays aloof.
It is culturally wrong to take sides when two elders brawl.
As a Yoruba boy, even if your father is fighting his brother, your uncle, you either go lock yourself in the room or, at most, plead for peace, “Baami o ti to” – “My father, that will be enough.”
Regrettably, I see young people taking sides in similar situations today, calling their elders names, throwing salvos, and destroying their own future in the name of politics.
We all have our reservations; we all know to whom we owe our allegiance. I know to whom and where my loyalty lies, yet God forbid that I call my elders unprintable names, not because I could be politically favoured in the future – only God gives the kind of favour I want – but because it is better to keep silent when not summoned.
Recently, those who came for me were advised and schooled instead of being attacked, although I won’t rule out the possibility of taking such persons to the cleaners in future.
I’ve read press releases with name callings, boastful talk and all manners of unscrupulous adjectives used. I shook my head in sadness. How petty and stupid can our people be just for clout and validation?
Options have been laid down to you, says the Bible, and whichever you settle for, hold forth unto it. We are still young; we should learn to listen, watch and learn.
Remember, there is a seat in a house in Ijebu-Ijesa that douses tension. (Ijoko kan mbe nile Faseru, Dagunro lo n je.
Irrespective of our political affiliation, we have a traditional conflict resolution mechanism; when activated, it will be as though nothing went wrong in the first instance.
On that day, which will come earlier than we’ve all ever envisaged, the elders will sit, and the brothers will hug and shake hands with a pat on the back and a few banters thrown. Their parting words will be “O ti tan ni yen”.
But you and your unbridled mouth will be left out of the negotiation; you will watch from the window space. At that moment you will know that you messed up.
Otunba ‘Kunle Bolarind
